Have you ever stopped to listen to your self-talk? That inner voice, self-talk, is with you 24/7, shaping your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Positive self-talk can be a powerful ally in self-esteem, encouraging and supporting you. But it can just as easily become your harshest critic, holding you back from reaching your potential. Self-talk directly influences your self-esteem, and the way you perceive and value yourself, which is a cornerstone of mental well-being.

In this blog post, we’ll delve into the transformative power of positive self-talk and its relationship with self-esteem. Drawing from my 25 years as a mental health nurse and my work as a solution-focused hypnotherapist, I’ll explore how rewiring our inner dialogue can lead to profound personal growth and improved mental health. Together, we’ll uncover the science behind positive self-talk, practical ways to reframe negative inner narratives, and steps to strengthen self-esteem through simple, effective practices.

Every message you receive is recorded in your brain from the moment you are born and impacts on self-talk and self-esteem. Everything you heard, saw, thought, said, and experienced was stored temporarily, but messages repeated often enough become permanently wired into your brain. These programs shape your beliefs and perceptions, regardless of whether the information is true or false. The brain’s storage system cannot distinguish between truth and falsehood, so it treats all programs as reality.

We make sense of life through the stories we tell ourselves. These personal narratives, whether shared openly or replayed quietly in our minds, are powerful. They shape our identity and influence the direction of our future experiences.

As a mental health nurse, I’ve frequently observed that individuals grappling with depression, low self-esteem, or anxiety are often weighed down by deeply negative self-narratives. Some even harbour a profound dislike for themselves. I would explain to them how this negative self-talk not only perpetuates their struggles but also plays a key role in maintaining them. Their thinking is often biased and rooted in emotions, assumptions, and opinions based on their perspective rather than objective facts. They develop a habit of focusing on their flaws, failing to recognize any positives.

Over time, I’ve come to understand that the information we receive from the world around us, and how we conceptualize this information into the stories we tell ourselves, profoundly influences our view of ourselves, others, and the world. Understanding how these narratives form and influence our mental well-being is essential. By addressing and reframing them, we can create new, healthier self-perceptions.

Your self-talk, the internal dialogues you have, affects everything you do. Positive self-talk can help you approach life with a confident, optimistic perspective, allowing you to navigate challenges successfully. Conversely, negative self-talk can lead to self-doubt and a diminished view of your abilities, holding you back and letting life’s difficulties overwhelm you.

Negative self-talk is particularly insidious because it prevents you from truly liking yourself, keeping you from discovering the wonderful person you were born to be. There is a direct link between your self-talk and your self-esteem, making it essential to discuss both topics together.

The good news is, that no matter how harshly you may have judged yourself, you can enhance your self-esteem. It takes courage and determination, but you can succeed. By practicing positive self-talk, you can rewrite your story, boosting your self-esteem and enhancing your mental health.

Self-esteem is often thought to mean “self-love,” but that’s not quite accurate. A more precise definition of self-esteem is derived from its Latin roots, meaning “estimate” or “value”. Your self-esteem is your estimation of who you believe yourself to be, your mental appraisal and personal opinion of yourself.

When someone says, “I have low self-esteem,” they are essentially saying, “I underestimate myself,” or “I have a problem with my opinion of myself.” This gets right to the heart of the matter: low self-esteem is almost always the result of having an inaccurate opinion of oneself.

Improving your self-esteem is more about changing your opinion of yourself than fixing perceived flaws in your character. To illustrate this, think of someone you know who has low self-esteem. Your opinion of that person is likely higher than the opinion they hold of themselves. You can see their qualities, but they can’t see them. It isn’t a lack of qualities that’s the problem; it’s their inability to recognize those qualities. They have developed a habit of focusing on their faults rather than their strengths and cannot see their quality.

The problem isn’t a lack of qualities but an inability to recognize them. By shifting focus to acknowledge personal strengths and achievements, we can transform self-esteem positively. This isn’t about becoming someone different but recognizing and valuing who you already are.

There’s a misconception that self-esteem can lead to narcissism or entitlement. Critics argue that excessive praise inflates egos, leaving individuals unprepared for real-world challenges. However, healthy self-esteem isn’t about inflating egos but about nurturing a balanced, confident, and empathetic individual.

True self-esteem includes values like personal responsibility, compassion, good choices, and mindfulness. Developing self-esteem fosters not just confidence but also kindness, responsibility, and the ability to contribute positively to society.

Unless your self-assessment is perfectly accurate (and it rarely is), you are not your self-esteem, and your self-esteem is not you. They may seem to be the same, but they are not.

There is the real, true you, and then, in the case of low self-esteem, there is the negative, often inaccurate picture of yourself that you imagine. In fact, your estimation of who you are is likely very different from who you actually are or who you can become if you choose to be. It’s a fundamental aspect of the human mind: you become how you describe yourself most. You live up to or down to the image you create of yourself in your mind.

So, what shapes this picture of yourself that you carry in your mind? The primary source of the beliefs you hold about yourself is your self-talk. Understanding self-talk—how it develops and why it plays such an important role in your self-esteem, is crucial.

The human brain has always been seen as a mysterious and complex organ capable of extraordinary feats. Traditionally, it was believed that the brain’s structure and function were fixed and unchangeable after a certain age, leading to the notion that one’s cognitive abilities and personal development were limited by predetermined factors. However, recent scientific discoveries in the field of neuroscience have shattered this notion, revealing the remarkable power of neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt, rewire, and transform itself throughout a person’s entire lifespan.

The human brain is a remarkable organ, capable of being programmed and rewired. It doesn’t matter if the programs received are true or not; with enough repetition, any program can become the “truth” in the brain.

This groundbreaking concept has revolutionized our understanding of the brain’s potential, offering new avenues for lifelong development, cognitive enhancement, and personal transformation. One practical application of neuroplasticity is the impact of positive self-talk on healthy self-esteem. By consciously focusing on positive thoughts and affirmations, individuals can reshape their neural pathways, fostering a more optimistic and empowered self-view. Over time, this practice can significantly improve mental well-being, helping to combat negative self-narratives and reinforcing a healthier, more confident self-perception.

If you know someone who thrives year after year, consistently overcoming life’s challenges, that’s a result of their programming, the way their brain is wired. On the other hand, if you know someone who fails repeatedly, even with help, that too is due to their programming.

In SFH we don’t focus on examining these existing programs because that can keep us stuck. Instead, of examining old, unhelpful programs, SFH focuses on rewiring the brain with positive self-talk and visualizing how you want to think, feel, and behave.

The solution to most problems of low self-esteem lies in rewiring the brain with positive self-talk. In SFH, tools like hypnosis introduce empowering language patterns that clients listen to repeatedly, rewiring their focus toward strengths and solutions.

Hypnosis in SFH fosters cognitive flexibility and cultivates a positive mindset by helping clients visualize goals and solutions. This process promotes resilience and adaptable thinking.

Hypnosis often conjures up images of mind control and loss of consciousness, largely due to its sensationalized portrayal in media. However, the realities of hypnosis are far different. In SFH, hypnosis fosters cognitive flexibility and cultivates a positive mindset by helping clients visualize future goals and solutions, promoting adaptable thinking and resilience.

These simple exercises and mindset shifts can help foster positive change and improve your self-esteem:

Visualization for Positive Outcomes

Take a few moments each day to visualize your ideal future. Imagine achieving your goals and feeling fulfilled. Picture vivid details and amplify them in your mind.

Identifying and Amplifying Strengths

Write down three things you did well each day. Reflect on your strengths and consider how you can use them to tackle challenges.

Solution-Oriented Thinking

When faced with a problem, list three potential solutions. Focus on actionable steps rather than the problem itself.

Practicing Gratitude

Keep a gratitude journal and note three things you’re thankful for daily. This practice fosters a positive outlook.

Positive Affirmations

Create a list of affirmations such as “I am capable” or “I am enough” and repeat them daily.

Setting Small, Achievable Goals

Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate your progress along the way.

Challenging Negative Thoughts and Reframing Beliefs

Examine evidence that supports more balanced and realistic perspectives to combat negative beliefs and assumptions. Reframe negative thoughts into more helpful and nurturing ones that affirm your worth, capabilities, and potential for growth.

Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to form new neural connections, reorganize existing ones, and adjust its structure and function in response to experiences, learning, and environmental changes. This continuous process of adaptation and rewiring enables the brain to learn new skills, facilitate personal growth, and drive transformation.

Your self-talk is one of the most influential forces shaping your mental well-being. By shifting from negative, self-defeating patterns to positive, solution-focused dialogue, you can unlock a more confident, optimistic version of yourself.

Remember, self-esteem isn’t about perfection or overconfidence—it’s about appreciating your true worth and navigating life with a balanced perspective. Change takes time, but every small effort counts. Whether it’s through visualization, gratitude, or affirmations, you have the tools to rewrite your inner narrative and create a brighter future.

As you reflect on the concepts shared in this post, consider this: Your self-talk is the script for your life. What story will you choose to tell yourself?