I’m writing this blog to explore the entrapment of negative thinking. Also, sharing my personal experiences in the hope of helping anyone who may be struggling. Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, unable to switch them off? I know how overwhelming this can be because I have experienced it firsthand.

“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” – Buddha

We are not born with negative thinking patterns; they develop over time, shaped by our interactions with significant others and the world around us (see previous post on core beliefs). These experiences can actually alter the brain in either helpful or unhelpful ways. I grew up believing I was not good enough, and these thoughts deeply affected my self-esteem and sense of worth. I saw myself as less intelligent than others because I thought intelligence was something you were born with. As a result, I believed others were better than me, and the world felt like a scary place where I had to hide my flaws. To cope, I relied on avoidance and people-pleasing behaviours, habits that followed me well into my thirties.

At some point, I realized that avoidance only offered temporary relief but actually made my anxiety worse in the long run. It kept my low self-esteem intact because I was not challenging the core belief that I was not good enough. Avoidance became a pattern that reinforced my negative thinking. Through self-help work, I discovered that this behaviour was preventing me from developing healthier coping mechanisms.

I also learned that my people-pleasing behaviour was a way of seeking worth through external validation. However, this sense of validation was always short-lived. Over time, I began to feel resentful because I was constantly giving without receiving, which led to burnout and unhealthy boundaries. I have learned that this pattern can lead to individual’s finding themselves in unhealthy relationships, having a detrimental impact.

Negative thinking can seriously impact on your mental well-being. Constantly dwelling on these thoughts creates a vicious cycle of anxiety, stress, poor sleep, and even depression. This mindset does not just impact on mental health; it can also harm physical health.  Doctors have found that people with persistent negative thoughts are more likely to suffer from cardiovascular problems, digestive issues, and slower recovery from illness compared to those with a positive outlook.

To overcome my low self-worth, I immersed myself in self-help books and courses, sometimes obsessively, seeking solutions. It took years of reading, reflection, and practice to find inner peace. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) by Aaron Beck and Schema Therapy by Jeffrey Young were particularly helpful. Learning about thinking errors and the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours was transformative for me.

That said, I still can fall into old patterns occasionally. But after years of self-work, I have learned to recognize when I’m heading down an unhelpful path and can stop myself before I get too far.

One concept that stood out during my mental health career is the power of core thinking, the thoughts buried deep in our emotional subconscious. The first person to introduce me to this idea was Earl Nightingale, in his 1956 work “The Strangest Secret”. He famously said, “We become what we think about.” (I even have this quote on my wall as a constant reminder!)

Nightingale emphasized that our thoughts shape our reality. If we have low expectations of ourselves, others, or the world, those expectations will define our experiences. Learning this was a light-bulb moment for me. Negative thinking impacts our motivation and behaviour, creating a feedback loop that reinforces limiting beliefs. But by consciously directing our thoughts toward optimism and possibility, we can change our beliefs, behaviours, and ultimately, our reality. “Happy days!”

This concept has guided me not only in my personal life but also in my work with patients and clients. Nightingale called this idea “The Strangest Secret” because, despite its simplicity, people often overlook it. They do not consistently apply the power of thought in their lives.

The secret has been known for centuries, embedded in the teachings of philosophers and spiritual leaders long before 1956. Yet, even in 2024, many still ignore or underestimate the power of how they think. I often see positive mindset quotes on social media, but despite the hundreds of “likes,” mental well-being continues to decline. It’s as if the “secret” is still hiding in plain sight.

The power of our thoughts to shape our mental well-being remains just as relevant today. Understanding this connection is crucial for navigating emotional and psychological challenges. Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy (SFH) was developed to harness the power of positive thinking for meaningful change, and this is what led me to transition from mental health nursing to SFH.

However, I’ve noticed that the benefits of SFH are not widely known. While courses exist, it’s up to us, the trained therapists, to spread the word.

Our brains are naturally biased, which is why Earl Nightingale’s message was so powerful. Let me introduce you to the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a network of neurons located in the brainstem that acts as a gatekeeper for sensory information. The RAS influences alertness, attention, and consciousness. It’s often referred to as the brain’s “awareness filter” because it determines which sensory inputs reach our conscious mind. Essentially, the RAS allows us to focus on what’s most important, filtering out everything else. For example, when you notice a car you like, suddenly, you start seeing it everywhere.

Each second, our senses gather around 11 million bits of information from the environment, sending it to the brain for processing. The RAS filters this data based on what you are focused on, it does not discriminate between what is helpful or unhelpful. It simply presents the pieces that align with your focus, all without us even realizing it.

This is why it’s essential to be mindful of who we interact with and the environment we surround ourselves with. News, media, and television often emphasize negativity and fear, which can shape our perceptions through the RAS.

When I struggled with low self-esteem, my attention was consumed by insecurities and the belief that I was not good enough. My RAS filtered information that supported these negative beliefs, reinforcing them. The RAS highlights experiences that carry emotional significance, and this can easily distort reality. However, it’s crucial to remember that just because we think something does not mean it’s true. Our minds generate countless thoughts daily, but they reflect our perception of reality, not the actual truth. Often, these thoughts are shaped by emotions, biases, and opinions filtered through the RAS rather than by facts. Despite this, we often accept them as absolute truth.

In times of chronic stress, the RAS can become hyperactive, heightening vigilance and increasing anxiety. If we spend too much time in our survival brain (the “caveman brain”), we become more negative, prone to thinking the worst, and even obsessional (see previous post about the brain).This can then lead to unhelpful habits, caught up in a vicious cycle of thoughts, feelings, and behaviour.

The RAS shapes our perception of reality by aligning our awareness with our thoughts, focus, and emotions. It’s like a mirror, reflecting our inner thoughts onto the external world. Whether we focus on positive or negative, the RAS amplifies what’s already on our mind. That’s why focusing on the positive aspects of life is so powerful, it helps us better manage challenges and improves our overall well-being.

I became aware of the RAS long before I trained as a Solution-Focused Hypnotherapist (SFH), but its role fits seamlessly within the SFH framework. In SFH, we help clients shift their focus toward the positives in their lives, guiding them to reshape their RAS for constructive change. We also educate clients on cognitive distortions, thinking errors that skew their perception, so they can better understand how these distortions influence their reality.

SFH also incorporates positive visualization techniques, helping the RAS seek out circumstances aligned with those visualizations. By clearly defining their goals, clients begin creating the reality they have imagined, with the RAS attuning itself to opportunities and experiences that support their goals.

This post has touched on how life conditions us and how our RAS maintains unhelpful beliefs. The RAS plays a key role in how we can get caught in cycles of negative thinking, which impacts both mental and physical well-being. There’s a quote that resonates deeply: “If you continue to do what you have always done, you will keep getting the same results.” Remember when we focus on life’s negativity, we invite more negativity. Conversely, when we focus on the positive, our RAS seeks them out, and good things come our way.Its not magic, its our RAS.

By sharing my own journey and the insights from Earl Nightingale, I hope this message reaches anyone who is struggling with negative thinking. You “can” break free from negative thinking, I know this from personal experience. If you are ready to make a change and need guidance, Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy could be the answer. Let’s start this journey together. Come walk with me, Tina.